I gave up trying to edit files for Grub. Instead, I went inside the case and reordered my hard drives. Obviously there is a conflict between the motherboard bios and Grub. The motherboard says the drives are in one order, and Grub says no they aren't, they're in another order. I finally said f**k it and went with Grub order. Aside from having to tell Windows "no, this drive isn't there now, its over here" in a couple of places, and then reinstalling Mandriva (too many files for a lazy person to edit otherwise) everyone seems to be playing off the same sheet music now.
But I have a headache :-(